I wish I could say that these words didn’t affect me. That these attempts to weaken me only made me stronger. But when people throw them at you on a regular basis, they tend to break you just as bad as a stone.
As a child, teen, and even young adult, I was picked on by my peers. They called me every name in the dictionary, and even some I didn’t know (who knew what a grenade was before Jersey Shore?). I tried to block out the hate, but it worked its way into my brain, leading to self doubt and, even worse, self hate. I’d beat myself up if test came back with a B+ instead of an A-. I’d obsess over every pimple or ingrown hair. I’d starve myself skinny, so I could meet society’s standards of beautiful. I’d tell myself I wasn’t good enough and needed to be better.
This went on until my senior year in college, when things suddenly went from shitty to not-so-shitty. I removed the toxic people from my life and stated hanging out with friends who built me up. I started focusing on my happiness rather than the happiness of others. I began to believe I was beautiful, inside and out.
After my long road to rediscovery, I wanted to help other women find their way to confidence and happiness. Until now, it’s mostly been through blog posts and talking to women who are dealing with difficulties. This summer, however, I have teamed up with half full, llc, a company that specializes in building the best version of oneself. Through the video series “Beautiful Women of the Northeast”, half full shares the stories of women who have overcome insecurity in hopes that those who struggle will follow their lead.
But then, half full took it one step further by bringing these women together to talk about the struggles they face and how together, they can make things better. My dear friend Nichole May and half full’s founder Rebecca Twitchell have planned Rediscovering Your Inner & Outer Beauty, an event that will bring out every one’s beauty and give them the tools to move forward with confidence.
While I’ve arrived at a more confident place, there are still days when I struggle. Days where I feel like life if getting the best of me. Days where I feel like that little girl that everyone picked on. But I can get through them with help from those who love me, care about me, and relate to me.
I am smart. I am beautiful. I am moving forward. Will you move with me?
Have you move forward from insecurities? Interested in learning more about half full, llc? Let me know in the comments below!